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Ben Wilson

Ben Wilson

ben wilson This is the blog of a one Ben Wilson, a Louisville, Kentucky native who enjoys baseball, beer, music, bikes, things that fly and good food. By day he pushes pixels and makes the Internet happen for a local advertising agency. His wife, Kelly is an Ironman, and his baby Amelia is the cutest thing ever.

This is the text of an email from a friend of mine (who is gay) in reaction to the Kentucky Anti-Gay Marriage Amendment which passed this last Tuesday…

Friends:

As most of you are probably aware, the majority of voters in Kentucky, along with 10 other states across our fine nation, just placed a ban on same sex marriage into the state constitution, effectively endorsing discrimination as a model practice. I am sitting here very nearly in tears right now because what this means is that the state that I was born in, and spent the first 24 years of my life in, has decided that I am not entitled to the same respect or the same sense of basic human dignity that 90% of the country’s population is automatically accorded. What this means is that my monogamous relationship with my boyfriend of three years is worth less than my father’s less lengthy relationship with a woman from another country; it is worth less than the second marriage of my mother; it is even worth less than a 55 hour practical joke perpetrated by Britney
Spears. It is, in fact, worth nothing in Kentucky.

What this means is that I cannot, and will not, ever be a resident of Kentucky again.

Maybe this seems a bit extreme to some of you, but I’d ask you to try to see this from my perspective. The state I have spent the vast majority of my life in, the one that educated me and collected my tax dollars, has now decided it knows better than I do when it comes to my relationship. All I can think is “What right do you have to tell me who I can marry? What right do you have to determine that my relationship is worth less than your own? What right do you have to presume to speak for God?”

Many people, maybe some of you, think this fight was about giving special rights to gay people. This could not be further from the truth. It was, and is, about affording equal rights to every tax-paying citizen of this country. In fact, the only people with “special rights” in this respect are heterosexuals: straight people have the right to marry, gay people do not. Straight people have the right to inherit property from their significant other, make medical decisions for their significant other, take care of the person they love most in the world; gay people do not. I do not. I am not equal.

So, it’s time I drew a line for my basic sense of self-respect, and sadly for me, that line must be abandoning the state I once considered my home.

filed under General and then tagged as ,,,
Nov 4 2004 ~ 8:54 am ~ Comments (4) ~

4 Comments

  1. Not to diminish the short term effects of this ridiculous and futile piece of legislation, but I see it as the last desperate gasps of a dying ideology.

    I was listening to this great piece on NPR and I agree with the commentator that says we liberals need to coopt the word “morality.” We *do* have morals and by god (pun intended), some of them are even religiously/spiritually based. They are about grace, humility, humanity and kindness; and yes, hope, faith, charity and love. The conservatives do not own these words! We’re all so afraid of stepping on each other’s toes that we can’t even bring ourselves to say “It is my Hindu beliefs that allow me to embrace the radical spiritualist that was Jesus of Nazareth!” Or vice versa. The details are unimportant. Or even just to respect and acknowledge our different belief systems and common values. We liberals have a unifying spirit, if not belief, even the atheists. It is one where everyone has the right to respect. So, forget the connotation of “morality.” Semantics. Call it “ethical morality” if you must, but take it, make it your own! By my view, they’re the immoral ones.

    In the end, what did we all expect from a bunch of people who refuse to evolve–or should I say “change over time”? ;)

    Comment by Holly — November 5, 2004 @ 2:41 pm
  2. For what it’s worth, I slogged through the rain to cast my “No” vote for you… as Kelly says, if there had been a “HELL no” option I’d have filled in the circle for that one. You know and I know and everyone else who voted against this asinine amendment knows that this will be a huge embarassment to Kentucky (and the sooner the better).

    Before your friend leaves, Ben, tell him to write to his congressman… no sense in making a statement if you don’t actually make it.

    Comment by danielle — November 5, 2004 @ 5:06 pm
  3. “‘If we let people believe that our party doesn’t believe in faith and family, doesn’t believe in work and freedom, that’s our fault,’ he said.”

    http://www.nypost.com/news/nationalnews/31816.htm

    More in link.

    Comment by Hunter — November 6, 2004 @ 9:54 am
  4. The friend who wrote it was Nick Smith, and he’s already in Chicago… and has been for a couple of years. So, yeah, essentially, he’s saying “no”, perhaps even “HELL no” to moving back to this state.

    Comment by ben — November 8, 2004 @ 3:27 pm

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