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Ben Wilson

Ben Wilson

ben wilson This is the blog of a one Ben Wilson, a Louisville, Kentucky native who enjoys baseball, beer, music, bikes, things that fly and good food. By day he pushes pixels and makes the Internet happen for a local advertising agency. His wife, Kelly is an Ironman, and his baby Amelia is the cutest thing ever.

What follows below (clicky on the MORE) is an AIM conversation I had Tuesday night with a mis-directed the Locust fan. Turns out, she’s 15. She likes Weezer, too, but anyway, I digress. At the same time I was having a conversation with Hunter and Najati. It all turned out pretty funny…

Read on for the full transcript

{more}

HunterDixon – best friend, confidant, assistant vice pederass

(01:56:27) BenCorvus: okay
(01:56:30) BenCorvus: are you read for this
(01:56:40) BenCorvus: i got a strange email from “OkayGoHome@aol.com
(01:56:50) BenCorvus: and he/she is on AIM right now
(01:57:02) BenCorvus: oh wow wow umm wow that was the best scare ever wow
(01:57:08) BenCorvus: that’s what i got
(01:57:27) HunterDixon: explain…
(01:57:34) BenCorvus: i don’t get it either
(01:57:46) BenCorvus: i got a weird email, subject “Wow”
(01:57:59) HunterDixon: and?
(01:58:08) HunterDixon: any attachments are anything? viruses?

(02:04:52) HunterDixon: Oh, please let me start AIMing her…
(02:05:09) HunterDixon: (p.s. I found a SuperBen website for you)

(02:15:22) HunterDixon: ask her is she has a picture.
(02:15:25) HunterDixon: offer to cyber.
(02:15:28) HunterDixon: ;-)
(02:16:11) BenCorvus: oh my
(02:16:23) HunterDixon: george takei?
(02:17:42) HunterDixon: tell her that you know someone who looks like Rivers (Aaron).
(02:17:49) BenCorvus: hehe
(02:17:51) BenCorvus: he does
(02:18:03) HunterDixon: and someone who is having sex with that guy because he looks like Rivers even more when she doesn’t wear her glasses (Erin.)
(02:18:28) BenCorvus: oh dear
(02:18:37) HunterDixon: tell her you were in a wedding where “suzanne” was played at the reception.
(02:18:52) HunterDixon: Wait, why the hell are you talking to some 15 yo instead of me?
(02:18:58) HunterDixon: :’(
(02:19:11) BenCorvus: sorry, dawg
(02:19:18) HunterDixon: btw. here is super ben. it’s pretty funny.
(02:19:25) BenCorvus: t’s part of Hellblazer- I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of it or not. Anyway, Warren Ellis (surprise!) wrote the issue (DC not publishing it is actually what led to him stepping down from the series) and Phil Jiminez drew it. I had never read it… great ending page, too.
(02:19:49) HunterDixon: Why are you quoting me?’
(02:19:57) BenCorvus: ooops
(02:19:58) BenCorvus: sorry
(02:20:01) HunterDixon: Or are you merely pointing out how big of a loser I am?
(02:20:54) HunterDixon: Ben’s got a girlfriend…
(02:20:57) BenCorvus: chat with veggiebuddha
(02:21:05) HunterDixon: najati?
(02:21:16) BenCorvus: yeah
(02:21:22) BenCorvus: (02:20:15) veggiebuddha: I guess ‘m not as coo as you new 15 year old girlfriend
(02:21:42) HunterDixon: Yeah, we’re gonna start a support group.
(02:25:40) HunterDixon: Are you cybering yet?
(02:25:52) BenCorvus: (02:21:49) veggiebuddha: so are you cybering yet?
(02:25:55) BenCorvus: no
(02:26:00) BenCorvus: she’s fifteen
(02:26:04) BenCorvus: or is she?
(02:26:26) HunterDixon: najati asked that too?
(02:26:33) BenCorvus: yessir
(02:26:37) HunterDixon: funny…
(02:27:16) HunterDixon: ask her if she has a picture…
(02:27:26) HunterDixon: maybe she has pert niblets!
(02:27:26) BenCorvus: i feel dirty
(02:27:31) HunterDixon: :-*
(02:27:35) HunterDixon: are you naked?
(02:27:41) HunterDixon: or rather, r u nekkid?
(02:28:14) HunterDixon: does she have a homepage?
(02:28:54) BenCorvus:

(02:29:33) BenCorvus: i swear by jeebus, i’ve been had
(02:29:37) HunterDixon: holy fucking shit… that has got to be a set up.
(02:29:48) BenCorvus: (02:29:27) veggiebuddha: lol!!!
(02:29:37) veggiebuddha: bens got a girlfirned bens got a girlfriend

(02:30:03) BenCorvus: oh, this is a definite candidate for a log sifting
(02:30:42) HunterDixon: jesus h. christ, you’ve got to post this… w/comments by me & najati, if they’re funny enough….
(02:31:21) BenCorvus: yessir
(02:31:26) BenCorvus: oh, i’m on it
(02:31:29) BenCorvus: i’ve got ideas
(02:31:56) HunterDixon: man, i tried doing some web searches for this person but my web fu is weak…
(02:32:08) BenCorvus: no
(02:32:14) BenCorvus: there is no info
(02:32:17) BenCorvus: i checked
(02:32:24) HunterDixon: hurm.
(02:32:40) HunterDixon: You should turn the web cam on yourself and write a note to her…
(02:32:48) BenCorvus: on my naked chest
(02:32:54) HunterDixon: in lipstick.
(02:35:50) HunterDixon: Hey, are you “Stanley Kubrick” on Gary’s guestbook?
(02:35:58) BenCorvus: uh
(02:36:01) BenCorvus: canna remember
(02:36:22) HunterDixon: “Goddamnit! Who do you think you are, Terrence Malick? 2 months and NO update. ‘
(02:36:41) BenCorvus: oh
(02:36:42) BenCorvus: yeah
(02:36:44) BenCorvus: that’s me
(02:36:46) BenCorvus: hehe
(02:37:10) HunterDixon: so did she sign off?
(02:37:15) BenCorvus: still t here
(02:37:23) BenCorvus: okaygohome is the screen name
(02:37:36) HunterDixon: yah i know.
(02:37:59) HunterDixon: did she whip out her monstrous cock with a freddy krueger hand at the end of it and fuck you in the ass?
(02:38:07) HunterDixon: did she teabag you with a fury seen only the wwf?
(02:38:18) BenCorvus: no… it was the thermometer
(02:38:28) BenCorvus: (02:38:06) veggiebuddha: ask her if she has family problems
(02:38:15) veggiebuddha: ask her if her daddy beats her
(02:38:22) veggiebuddha: ask her if you can be her new daddy

(02:38:46) HunterDixon: hah! whose your daddy?
(02:39:16) BenCorvus: i’m going to bed
(02:39:47) HunterDixon: whatever, you’re going to pretend to sign off, then come back and cyber like mad with her.
(02:39:50) HunterDixon: admit it…
(02:40:00) HunterDixon: also, a headline on msn.com: why we have earwax.
(02:40:05) HunterDixon: And we’ve reached a new low…

OkayGoHome – 15 year old girl, the Locust fan, Weezer (Pinkerton) Fan.

(01:57:12) BenCorvus: oh wow wow umm wow that was the best scare ever wow
(01:57:19) BenCorvus: what, pray tell, does that mean?
(01:57:45) okaygohome: woah….
(01:57:56) okaygohome: youre not a machine?
(01:58:07) BenCorvus: no
(01:58:18) okaygohome: woah i just
(01:58:23) okaygohome: who are you
(01:58:28) okaygohome: oh
(01:58:43) BenCorvus: i’ll ask the questions here.
(01:58:44) okaygohome: i got scared
(01:58:45) BenCorvus: who are you
(01:58:49) BenCorvus: hehe
(01:58:55) okaygohome: marie
(01:59:02) BenCorvus: Marie?
(01:59:08) okaygohome: but…thats not my real name
(01:59:14) okaygohome: yes marie i guess
(01:59:41) BenCorvus: well, why exactly did you email me?
(02:00:05) okaygohome: cuz i was um…i found a cd and i played it and i got scared and it felt good
(02:00:46) BenCorvus: right.
(02:00:55) BenCorvus: well, how did you get my email address.
(02:01:03) okaygohome: this…place
(02:01:37) okaygohome: this website
(02:01:41) BenCorvus: thelocust.org?
(02:02:06) okaygohome: yeah
(02:02:11) BenCorvus: oh
(02:02:47) okaygohome: so was i not supposed to e mail you
(02:02:51) BenCorvus: no.
(02:02:59) BenCorvus: it’s not like thats a private email address
(02:03:15) BenCorvus: i’m just wondering what your impetus for such a seemingly random and incoherent email was
(02:03:15) okaygohome: youre kind of cockey
(02:03:32) BenCorvus: yeah, and I spell better than you.
(02:03:33) BenCorvus: hehe
(02:03:58) okaygohome: hehe? are you happy or something
(02:04:13) BenCorvus: it’s short-hand for laughing
(02:04:15) BenCorvus: haha
(02:04:16) okaygohome: im 15…i dont need to spell
(02:04:19) BenCorvus: hehe
(02:04:21) BenCorvus: right
(02:04:31) BenCorvus: well, i know i’ve seen OkayGoHome somewhere before
(02:04:41) okaygohome: where?
(02:04:55) BenCorvus: dunno
(02:05:10) BenCorvus: who are you, anyway? where did you find my site from?
(02:05:11) okaygohome: are you old…a/s
(02:05:19) BenCorvus: a/s
(02:05:21) BenCorvus: please
(02:05:25) BenCorvus: that is some shit
(02:05:30) BenCorvus: BEN
(02:05:38) BenCorvus: <-- that being my name
(02:05:42) okaygohome: im 15 f
(02:05:53) BenCorvus: you know any ben’s that are female?
(02:05:59) okaygohome: and and people have called me oi polloi for years
(02:06:06) okaygohome: um, no
(02:06:13) BenCorvus: thelocust.org is chocked full of pics of me, too
(02:06:29) okaygohome: why you
(02:06:48) BenCorvus: because i own the server
(02:06:56) BenCorvus: thelocust is my “handle” if you will
(02:07:04) okaygohome: oh you just own websites ?
(02:07:27) BenCorvus: i registered thelocust.org, and i own the server it sits on
(02:07:40) BenCorvus: so, how did you happen to find my site?
(02:08:08) okaygohome: …researching bands
(02:08:25) BenCorvus: ahh… like TheLocust, eh?
(02:08:57) okaygohome: yeah
(02:09:03) BenCorvus: i don’t actually listen to them, as it turns out
(02:09:04) okaygohome: wrong website huh
(02:09:15) BenCorvus: however, i did get that handle because of them
(02:10:11) BenCorvus: my brother had a “the locust” t-shirt (which i still have) that i wore when i went bowling. you can enter your name at the alley we go to, and i (having ‘the locust’ on the front of the shirt) picked ‘thelocust’, and one thing lead to another
(02:10:18) BenCorvus: i’m a poseur, it’s true
(02:10:49) okaygohome: wow
(02:10:53) okaygohome: how old are you
(02:10:58) BenCorvus: 22
(02:11:24) okaygohome: damn
(02:11:33) okaygohome: and u dont even know who they are
(02:11:35) okaygohome: lol
(02:11:46) BenCorvus: no, i know who they are
(02:11:55) okaygohome: u havent herd them
(02:12:00) okaygohome: im 15 and im cooler than you
(02:12:02) BenCorvus: they played Louisville (where i live) a couple weeks back
(02:12:10) okaygohome: ha
(02:13:18) BenCorvus: and i have heard them
(02:13:29) BenCorvus: and i’m not real fond
(02:13:39) okaygohome: why do u have a site then
(02:13:53) BenCorvus: because that is my hobby
(02:13:57) BenCorvus: and my career
(02:14:01) okaygohome: what do u listen to
(02:14:06) BenCorvus: uh
(02:14:43) BenCorvus: well, at the moment, a little Bluegrass, a lot of punk, the last Outkast record really rocked, too… Chemical Brothers are favorites. Rufus Wainright, too.
(02:14:58) BenCorvus: The Wipers, the Buzzcocks are on my plate
(02:15:22) okaygohome: u like anyone in my prfile?Hobbies: i like music. WEEZER RANCID dropkick murphys less than jake black flag anti flag afi misfits voodo glow skulls sublime nofx vandals hippos the get up kids oi polloi sex pistols bouncing souls <<(thanks sean) saves the day green day the queers <3 aquabats
(02:15:29) BenCorvus: WEEZER!
(02:15:33) okaygohome: yeah
(02:15:36) BenCorvus: well, you aren’t that bad after all
(02:15:38) okaygohome: < HUGE FAN
(02:15:43) BenCorvus: <-=- bigger fan
(02:15:47) okaygohome: im tal;king pinkerton fan
(02:15:53) okaygohome:
(02:15:54) BenCorvus: oh jeezus
(02:16:17) okaygohome: im talking…suzanne is my favroite song
(02:16:24) okaygohome: like i wet my pants when i hear them
(02:16:44) BenCorvus: wait, then you are a Kevin Smith fan as well
(02:17:02) okaygohome: who? heh
(02:17:06) BenCorvus: Mallrats
(02:17:13) BenCorvus: that’s the soundtrack Suzanne came from
(02:17:13) okaygohome: YES lol
(02:17:19) okaygohome: yeah
(02:17:20) BenCorvus: Kevin Smith directed
(02:17:34) okaygohome: yeah
(02:17:39) BenCorvus: pInkerton played on a constant loop in my car recently for about a month
(02:17:59) okaygohome: ive worn a weezer shirt for pic da since 5th grade
(02:18:13) BenCorvus: heh
(02:18:15) BenCorvus: that’s funny
(02:18:37) okaygohome: u like why bother?
(02:18:46) okaygohome:
(02:18:48) BenCorvus: i like it all
(02:19:00) okaygohome: me too!!
(02:19:02) BenCorvus: there are no weezer songs i can’t listen to
(02:19:44) okaygohome: omg
(02:19:46) okaygohome: u rock!!!!!!!!!
(02:21:11) BenCorvus: i try real hard to rock as often as i can
(02:21:16) okaygohome: lol
(02:22:22) BenCorvus: did you know that there is the video for Buddy Hollly on the Windows 95 cd?
(02:22:29) okaygohome: no!
(02:22:35) BenCorvus: yes’m
(02:27:47) BenCorvus: anywho… i’m out of here … work in the morning.
(02:28:00) okaygohome: wait!
(02:28:02) okaygohome: umm
(02:28:07) BenCorvus: okay
(02:28:12) okaygohome: i just want you to know your really cool and stuff
(02:28:15) okaygohome: want my pic?
(02:28:24) BenCorvus: uhh…. sure
(02:28:34) okaygohome: oh illgive it to u later
(02:28:38) okaygohome: bye :)
(02:29:14) BenCorvus: okey-doke

VeggieBuddha – Not Buddhist, but real, real Vegetarian.

(02:13:01) BenCorvus: i just got punked by this 15 year old girl
(02:14:29) veggiebuddha: lol
(02:14:52) veggiebuddha: so theres a band called the locust?
(02:15:02) BenCorvus: yes
(02:15:12) BenCorvus: i’m shocked you haven’t heard of them, indie-boy
(02:15:22) veggiebuddha: =P
(02:15:32) veggiebuddha: I’m no indie boy, never claimed to be
(02:15:42) veggiebuddha: I just ride guilt’s nutsack
(02:15:54) veggiebuddha: and a few others I was exposed to in highschool
(02:16:05) veggiebuddha: keeping up with my techno is work enough
(02:16:21) veggiebuddha: heh
(02:16:34) veggiebuddha: I should test her on yer technoknowledge
(02:20:15) veggiebuddha: I guess ‘m not as coo as you new 15 year old girlfriend
(02:20:32) BenCorvus: hehe
(02:20:45) BenCorvus: (02:18:52) HunterDixon: Wait, why the hell are you talking to some 15 yo instead of me?
(02:18:58) HunterDixon: :’(

(02:21:49) veggiebuddha: so are you cybering yet?
(02:21:54) BenCorvus: hehe
(02:21:56) BenCorvus: dirty boys
(02:22:00) veggiebuddha: heheh
(02:22:43) veggiebuddha: http://najati.org:8080/~najati/screenie.png
(02:22:48) veggiebuddha: pointless screenie
(02:24:07) BenCorvus: now, that is e-term in the background, correct?
(02:24:21) veggiebuddha: yup
(02:24:33) BenCorvus: i can NEVER, EVER save my shade/etc preferences
(02:24:37) BenCorvus: they always reset
(02:24:45) veggiebuddha: edit the theme, yo
(02:24:49) BenCorvus: huh?
(02:25:00) BenCorvus: so the eterm settings are in the theme?
(02:25:05) veggiebuddha: lol
(02:25:09) veggiebuddha: you are retarded
(02:25:15) veggiebuddha: go back to you15 year old =P
(02:25:16) BenCorvus: yes
(02:26:08) veggiebuddha: I ussually copy the theme into a seperate
(02:26:10) veggiebuddha: directory’
(02:27:39) veggiebuddha: you need to set up irc.thelocust.org
(02:27:42) veggiebuddha: ;)
(02:27:49) veggiebuddha: I’m tired of gaim anyways
(02:27:53) BenCorvus: hehe
(02:27:56) BenCorvus: i’ve considered it
(02:28:00) BenCorvus: many times
(02:28:01) BenCorvus: jabber
(02:28:03) BenCorvus: jabber
(02:28:51) veggiebuddha: is that a hint?
(02:29:04) veggiebuddha: we could just start a provate room on ars’s server =)
(02:29:27) veggiebuddha: lol!!!
(02:29:37) veggiebuddha: bens got a girlfirned bens got a girlfriend
(02:30:13) veggiebuddha: you better post that shit
(02:30:17) BenCorvus: definite candidate for a log-sifting
(02:30:19) BenCorvus: oh, i will
(02:30:26) BenCorvus: keep in mind, three logs here
(02:30:34) veggiebuddha: heehee
(02:30:41) veggiebuddha: and green logs as well, did I tell you?
(02:31:05) veggiebuddha: I shat crayola “green” for three days in a row, I was so proud of myself
(02:31:15) BenCorvus: that’s fould
(02:31:16) veggiebuddha: I felt like a real vegan =’)
(02:36:35) veggiebuddha: did you ask her about her name?
(02:36:52) BenCorvus: no, i didn’t
(02:37:43) veggiebuddha: you should
(02:38:00) BenCorvus: later
(02:38:06) veggiebuddha: ask her if she has family problems
(02:38:15) veggiebuddha: ask her if her daddy beats her
(02:38:22) veggiebuddha: ask her if you can be her new daddy
(02:38:43) veggiebuddha: “its okay ogh, I won’t hurt you”
(02:39:10) BenCorvus: alright, i’ve had enough. i’m going to bed
(02:39:14) veggiebuddha: =(
(02:39:20) BenCorvus: hehe
(02:39:22) BenCorvus: me tired
(02:39:24) veggiebuddha: I’m sorry, I;m just teasing ben
(02:39:28) BenCorvus: no
(02:39:32) BenCorvus: i’m teasing
(02:39:36) BenCorvus: this poor little girl
(02:39:39) veggiebuddha: you know I don’t mean it
(02:39:44) BenCorvus: we’ll run away to the desert
(02:39:47) veggiebuddha: yes yes
(02:39:49) BenCorvus: and live out our lives
(02:39:49) veggiebuddha: lol!!
(02:39:56) veggiebuddha: I get Kelly
(02:39:58) veggiebuddha: =P

filed under General and then tagged as
Jul 27 2001 ~ 9:37 am ~ Comments (1) ~

1 Comment

  1. whose that sexy mutha jumpin over all those chairs…

    Comment by Anonymous — July 31, 2001 @ 8:22 am

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