…but that”s what happened to me yesterday.

Kelly and I were at Oxmoor and stopped inside Sharper Image. You know
– the kind of place where you can get a robotic calf massager, a
robotic vacuum cleaner, even a robotic… robot. In the middle of
store, prominently displayed (but outside the reach of small children)
were the Master Replicas Star Wars lightsabers!

I said “OOOH! SHINY!” and immediately went over and picked it up off of
it”s display case. I believe it was the “Darth Vader” model. There was
also a nice family of a father and like three kids “playing” with the
“Anakin” model. I hear the Dad say “uh, now kids, this ain”t for
swinging now — these are $125 a piece!” I chuckle and lapse back into
my daydream of standing on the bank of a lava-flow yelling “YOU WERE THE
CHOSEN ONE!”, with Matt Rasnake”s brother Javan standing down below w/o
3 of his appendages. Now me, I”m standing there with a goatee, sandy
blonde hair parted a little to the left gripping this thing with two
hands, just thinking one word over and over in my mind — “AWESOME
AWESOME AWESOME”. The dad then snaps my concentration and says “Hey
man — my kids think you look like Obi-Wan, you know, but like Young
Obi-Wan”. Now, this dude was black, so I was automatically thinking
“Mace! You old cock! How are you?!” but declined to say such a thing.

Nonetheless, I thanked him and his apparently awe-struck children
(judging by the looks on their faces) and went on our way. Upon
reflection I should have whipped out some great Obi-Wan scenes like
walking over to the people looking at the Roomba robo-vacuums and waving
my hand saying “these aren”t the droids you are looking for”.

So yeah, that was pretty awesome. Next time you are dragged into that
mall, I suggest you check them out.

Cameron Crowe’s latest film, Elizabethtown, will rock for more than a few reasons:

• It was shot on-location in E-town, here in Kentucky.
• There are ear x-tacy bumper stickers.
• My Morning Jacket not only plays in the movie, but some of them have speaking roles (and allegedly they play “Free Bird”)
• Cameron Crowe is awesome.
• Mary Jane from Spiderman is in it!
• Legolas is in it!
• And finally — any movie that has any of the characters sporting an Ale-8-One t-shirt meets with my HIGHEST of approvals.

You can check out a 7-minute “first-look” preview here: http://www.elizabethtown.com/video/firstlook/InternetTrailer.mov.

.

In short, it is rad radness that in many ways redeems the previous two films.

Go see it.

I laughed, I cried, it was better than Cats. Seriously.

Kelly, Najati and I saw Spider-man 2 last night. Hunter and I gave it three “RAD”s up. Go see it. Better than the first.

i figured it’s my duty to keep you, gentle reader, in the know about the movies i watch. First off, on Sunday, Hunter, Kelly and I watched the Cowboy Bebop movie. I have a deep, deep love for the Cowboy Bebop series — which is odd, because most anime I don’t really care for. Yoko Kanno‘s music is just perfect (another thing I never thought I say when it came to Japanese music of any sort. Sorry, Gary. Most of the music in Anime is just atrocious to me.). It rocks when it needs to rock, and is soft when it needs to be soft. The movie itself is very stylish, and well directed. So well, in fact, that I think Hunter was stunned. I’m not entirely sure. I think he’s a Bebop fan now more than ever.

On Monday, we went to go see 28 Days Later. At first, I thought it was just going to be some post-apocalyptic tale, but then there are the ZOMBIES! Hah. Zombies? Yeah. I know what you’re thinking — “My, that’s just stupid.” Well, listen up buck-o. I liked this movie in much the same way I liked Sling Blade. Both of them have touches of horror in them — but often most of the most horrific of images aren’t spattered with blood. Both films had me near tears at times, and yelping with fright at others. Who says you can’t have an intelligent zombie movie? The music in 28 Days Later is also fantastic, and the gritty cinematography is wonderful as well. According to the UK movie site, there is an alternate ending to the film — and it will be on the DVD when it arrives over here (hopefully in time for Halloween). Oh, I can’t wait. I was completely rapt with this film. Danny Boyle, I forgive you for “The Beach” and “A Life Less Ordinary“.

Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle was so much fun, it was absolutely ridiculous. Ah, so funny and great, and yes, Crispin Glover makes his appearance as “the thin man” — and let me tell you, that character only gets more bizarre and wonderful. Explosions, kicking, good music (Danger! High Voltage!), and plenty of great comedy. Oh my.

There is this matrix:revolutions trailer-thing that has been floating around for a while now… it’s not a trailer, ’cause it doesn’t have trailer things on it… hunter believes it may have been cut together for entertainment tonight. well, in any case, i have it up here on thelocust.org, so if you know me, then AIM me and i’ll give you the URL. in the meantime, some shots:

This appears to be an Agent — perhaps Agent Smith and he’s cackling like mad. awesome.

yet another crazy dude. but he looks awesomely crazy. awesome.

For mah people in Chi-town, a train that says “Loop” on it. the “L” voice says: “This is The Matrix. Next is ROCK!”

Update: My sources inform me that this is the hidden trailer from the “Enter The Matrix” video game.

So, hunter, kelly, kristin and i watched Battle Royale over the weekend. Wow, it was quite great. A bit like lord of the flies, to be sure, but an interesting (and controversial) play on the idea. You’ve got crazy slasher film violence, interspersed with friendship, love and betrayal. Not to mention Beat Takeshi‘s dry and dark sense of humour. “Here is a list of your dead friends!”.

You may have guessed that this movie is not for everyone. It certainly is bloody, and by some could be construed as crude or crass. However, within it’s dark and bloody confines, lies a very interesting treatise on the human connection, both positive and negative.

Check my earlier post on BR.

I can’t remember clearly if Hunter had mentioned Battle Royale to me a while back, but it certainly sounds like something i’d be interested in. Either that, or it’s something i’d like for reality TV to turn into.

The capsule from TokyoPop’s Battle Royale page reads:

In the future, random Jr. High School classes are chosen to compete in a game called Battle Royale. The rules: only one student can survive after 3 days on an island or else they all perish. Weapons are handed out and each student is sent out into the field alone and unprepared for the horror that awaits them. The classmates turn upon themselves in a battle for survival, treaties are made and broken, and former friends become foes as the relentless countdown continues. Amid the betrayals and rising body count, two classmates confess their love for each other and swear to survive this deadly game together.

Based on the live-action feature film that became a cause celebre and polarized much of Japan.

Yeah, did you read that? It was actually a movie before it was manga. It starred none other than Takeshi Kitano (ne’ Beat Takeshi). And never fear — in true Asian cinema fashion — they’ve made a sequel.

update: Wild and Woolly video has it in stock.

When someone tells you “Hey man, Louisville is boring and sucks,” you can promptly direct that guy to the URL for the 2nd Annual Lebowski What-Have-You festival right here in Louisville. I don’t know if it’s the only Lebowski What-Have-You Festival in the nation, but I do know this — the man who was the inspiration for “The Dude” will be there, drinking white russians and bowling. Yeah.